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“I’d certainly be
disappointed if we don’t win, because I am pretty sure they are going to have a
mediocre team.”
It
is unknown whether these words were uttered at Eversley Cricket Club prior to
our encounter in the National Village Cup on Sunday. It would certainly have
been fair enough if they had been. Even at our strongest we would cheerfully
describe ourselves as mediocre. The same could not be said of the West Indies.
Eversley
is a big club. They have a beautiful ground, an indoor centre, six age group
sides, two girl’s teams, a ladies side and four men’s XIs. I’m confident they
didn’t have people on email, text, WhatsApp, twitter, facebook, and even the
good old fashioned phone all week, trying to get 11 yeses.
When
a little single-side outfit like ours plays a big club in a knockout
competition, turning up with 10 players is not only a bad idea, it seems
somehow almost rude. Like we’ve deliberately set out to waste their time with
our mediocrity.
Between
Thursday and Saturday we must have gone through 40 people for that 11th
spot. If we were going to waste their time, it wouldn’t be for lack of trying.
Through arm-twisting and cancellations, we did eventually get 11.
By
drinks they were only going at four an over, and we dared to daydream.
“If we don’t win, I can tell
you now there will be some enquiries why we haven’t.”
Outgoing
Yorkshire and incoming ECB chairman (same person) Colin Graves seems to be
eyeing the spring-clean broom.
The
ECB have also been leafing through dusty address books, doing some frantic
late-evening phone-calling to see who’s up for it. The director of cricket
position has piqued the interest of several old boys who might be tempted back,
a few more have firmly declared their unavailability. Sounds familiar.
Additionally,
it may not be insignificant that as England were in the process of losing a
Test match in Barbados, the successful and highly respected coach at the new
chairman’s former county turned down the opportunity to coach South Australia.
Just
hang on a minute there, Dizzy old son. Stay available.
However,
it now appears Moores will be spared the implied threat of a formal enquiry
before the start of the international summer, as apparently ‘some enquiries’
merely meant ‘some questions’. Presumably along the lines of “So. What happened
there, then?”
Eversley,
too, spared themselves the enquiries, in their case by employing the clever tactic
that eluded England: winning pretty comfortably, as expected. They ramped it up
to nearly 10 an over after drinks, smoothly taking the chase beyond our reach.
Our
defeat was sealed just as the West Indies began smoothly taking victory away
from England, in a decidedly non-mediocre fashion. Still, there may yet be some
hope. Last time England lost a Test in the West Indies was 2009. Then they came
home and promptly won the Ashes. Perhaps it’s all part of the plan.
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ends 496 words -
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